Evil Walks

I find myself at a crossroads tonight. There are just so many stories and so much learning I have for you all that I just don't know what alleyway to go down tonight. No doubt whatever alleyway I lead you down your sure to get raped but I just don't know which raping I want to give you all tonight. It can't be anything too good...ahhh I know. Exactly, why wouldn't I have told this story so long ago. Who wants to hear the story of how TJ Trimboli became the womanizer that he is today? Do we all want to know why I use, lie, and cheat with girls. Why I am unfaithful? Why I lie to all girls and not tell them anything. I don't follow this tradition much today for I actually found a girl that I love being with (I know we never thought we'd hear me say this) but how in the past I never told the truth and was just an overall asshole to all women? Well I'll tell you good children...

...It all began with a dream. As all stories do. I wanted to be somebody. I had just lost my beatles mushroom cut and got my braces off. I was a new man and finally looking to get a girlfriend. This was eighth grade. I still had emotions and believed that I wanted a girlfriend and all the joy that would come with it. ahhahahaha. Jokes. I dated a couple of good lookers my last year in middle school. No doubt it was the best year I had with girls in my life even now. I mean I know I was a pussy then and barely even kissed any of these girls but how can you compare the ugly girls that I've fucked in high school to the hot girls that I walked to class and dated in middle school. I'll give examples even though it's probably going to get me in trouble. In eighth grade I dated or almost dated Rachel Ford, Katie Tomauli (I dont know how to spell her last name), Jenna Schulman, and Ally Rosenthall. Sure they all only lasted a couple of days, just enough for them to all come to their senses and see who it was that they were kind of into to but now lets compare them with who I've fucked that was in my high school. Lisa Fitzgerald, Monica Morace, Brit Handler. There really isn't much comparison. I have lived a pretty high level of No Standards in my life and continue to live that to this day. Pussy is Pussy is my motto. There's no such thing as standards, Just stories and I've had a doozie of stories built up throughout my life. I'm gleeming away from where I want to go though. This isn't about these girls it's about one certain one. The one during the middle of summer in eighth grade that changed me for the better. After this girl I no longer chased the American Dream of getting a hot girlfriend and being the best boyfriend possible. I lost all self esteem, I lost my morals, I lost my emotions, and most importantly I lost my standards. This girl was old No Name.

Now I'm not calling her old no name because I don't want to reveal her name. I'm calling her old no name because I have no idea what the fuck her name is. I can't even remember what she even looked like but after doing what she did I can't imagine that she was much of a looker but then again I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for this girl so I have to give her props. I wish I could find her again now because I would shake her hand, fuck I would even tongue kiss her no matter how ugly she was just to thank her for being responsible for this creation. she is my master. I am her Frankenstein reeking havoc on the town's women.

It was the summer of eighth grade, June. School had just finished and we would be onto High School in the fall. Important times no doubt. Dumb and Dumberer had just come out in theaters and god dammit was I gonna be there. I don't know where Ryan or Brendan or anyone was that night because I wound up going with John Segura. Not that I cared. I like John, he's a funny kid and I thought this was a good chance to maybe induct a new friend into our group. I wouldn't try that now because I've grown to really dislike people in my old age. You really gotta be the most perverted kid to make it with my friends or for me to even give you the time of day. I don't John is like that but we were good friends back then.

My mom picked John up and we were off to the movies. The 7:10 showing on Friday Night. Oh yeah, I was the fucking coolest. We were a little early and had some time to kill and we chilled in the lobby. Some parts of this story here you're going to get from me that I wrote out a year ago in my book My One Way Ticket To Hell. There are some things I write in there that are just too funny to not write in here for you to see so i'll be referencing the book for the remainder of the story at times. So we were perched outside the theater on one of those black benches just hanging out. John had got some food and we were just waiting for it to be 7 and we were going to head into the theater. That's when we saw them. Two girls on another bench right by us talking and giggling and looking at us. I wish to Satan that I could remember what these girls look like. God damn my memory. They came over to us and started talking to us. I barely remember anything of what went on before the movie only that the outcome was that they were gonna come and sit with us during the movie.

I remember feeling nervous as I was only fourteen I think. I also was still very childish and babylike. I was so nervous being around this girl like I had something to prove or lack there of. I was a pussy still. I didn't want to prove anything but then again that's why I love this girl. She made me what I am today. Unafraid. Unafraid to write what I feel, say what I mean, not be afraid of any backlash from people. I would devote my life to this shadow in my mind.

The movie started and sure as Hell is hot she turned and started to make out with me. She sucked her tongue so far into the back of my mouth I thought she was gonna hit that thing that hangs in the back that makes you throw up if you touch it. You're uvula or something like that. Here's where I really look back at myself and pity the pussy that I once was. She moved her hand slowly down my pubescent chest and down onto my cock. I had just started jerking off maybe a year or so ago thank god or this would have been awkward. She pulled my dick out in the middle of the theater. Now I don't know if you have all been in a movie theater or not lol, It's not pitch fucking black other people can see you no matter where you sit. I was sitting in the aisle seat too. Anyone could just look over and get a nice shining look at my 14 year old penis. She went to town too. I look back and find it a little disturbing that a 14 year old was this good at giving a hand job already. Maybe she has been doing this for a while. Maybe she was really a man with a penis of her own that she played with just like me?

I was a real man now at this part. Good old little TJ pulled her hand away and said and I quote, "I don't think we should do this I don't even know you. We just met."

Yeah, that's right. I said that. Let's take a moment to sit and ponder on how big my pussy actually was back then.

Thankfully, Her dick was bigger then mine. She said, "Don't be such a pussy." and she continued to make out with me and jerk me off and I let her. I let her rape me.

I thank Satan that I did. She finished and I came all over her hand and the movie seat. She then proceeded to lick her fingers clean like she got birthday cake frosting all over her fingers. It was the hottest thing I've ever seen and I've seen Two Girls One Cup. She got napkins for me cause I wasn't licking it off my hand god dammit and we watched the end of the movie.

As the movie progressed I felt a change in me. I slowly felt the old TJ Trimboli sailing out the window as the new evil TJ Trimboli sank in. I suddenly craved pussy and more hand jobs and such. I turned back to her and we went at it again. I got another hand job. The movie ended and we made our way out of the theater. I felt the evil surging inside me. I was a new man. I no longer cared about anything I felt. I felt indifferent to it all. Not as much as I do today. What I felt back then was nothing to the way I feel now, to the freedom that I live today is nothing compared to what I felt then. Back then, it was just the liberation of a new thing that I was introduced to. I mean how evil could I have felt back then, I still believe Jesus Christ was a real person and that my grandparents were alive in heaven. But I felt the seed was planted and something maniacal was going to grow. Oh boy did it start that night.

We left the theater and my mom was waiting for me and John. The girl stopped me before I could go and asked for my name and number. I really felt good that night. I got two handjobs and didn't even know the girls name. She gave me a hand job and she didn't even know my name.

"Kevin" I said. There it was. I said it. And it started. I gave her a fake number and a fake name and I started my seven year journey to the evil man I am today. I thank this girl because without her who knows where I would be today. I might actually give a damn about people ahhhhh. I might actually even care about people ahhhhhh. I shudder to think. This girl is my lois lane. This girl is the damien to my lucifer. I love this girl. I cherish this girl.

haha this story still wouldn't be classic without the absolute dumbest reaction that I can give. I was as dumb a kid then as I am today. Probably more then, heres my example. I asked my mom a week later to take me to the doctor because I thought that girl giving me a hand job had given me H.I.V. Yeah, Dumb and Dumberer alright and I'm the dumbest fucking person on the planet.

Nostalgic

Oh boy how funny it is to be writing this nostalgic story as I look back on the nostalgic feeling I get after reading my old blogs and really how funny I am and how badly I piss people off. I love it. Nostalgic is the word of the night ladies and gentleman it's been on my mind all day. While at work, while at class, and while looking at my old high school year book right now and everything that seemed to went on that fabulous year. There was so much to look through. I forgot almost everything everyone wrote to me in my year book and look back at it now and don't recognize the person their all talking about in there. It certainly isn't the TJ Trimboli we all know now.

The funniest thing to me is the obvious people that stick out in your yearbook that wrote something to you in it that you know shouldn't have ever even written in it. Now I'm not saying they weren't nice to you and you weren't friends with them in class but it's a completely different thing when you ask them that sunny june day to sign your yearbook knowing fully well that you only talked to them in school and are expected they'll have something actually meaning full to write in your yearbook to look back on twenty years from now hahaha not. I'm not different. Let's see some of the way out of my league girls that wrote in my yearbook.

Ah no doubtably after opening up the cover, boom, there it is. Kiara and Tiana. Boy those are some extremely sexy ladies to be writing in your yearbook TJ. Way to sexy to be associating with your ugly ass. The book is full of them but i'm rambling and this isn't where my story is meant to lead. My story is supposed to lead to the senior awards. That's where my story lies tonight.

My story tonight is how popularity really ruins what should of been the true winners of a certain senior award and no i'm not talking about the bullshit of how I was nominated for most hollywood bound cause of my friends. We already knew that someone who took it up the ass was gonna win the award, right Mark? No i'm talking about the award for Most Likely To Remain Best Friends. Now anyone could have seen it coming that the only ones for that category that were going to get picked was the vastly popular crew that all hung out with each other and I'm not blaming Deanna and Shari for winning. I'm sure they are the bestest of friends and will remain like that forever but that's where these awards find their fault. It only takes account of what goes on in school. If it were to really take a look at the friends in the school and who stands by each other we could have seen the clear victors back in seventh grade. That's right and no it's not Damien and Steve Calandra they should have won cutest couple. No who should have won Most Likely To Remain Best Friends was Ryan Blank and TJ Trimboli.

I'm not trying to boost my own self esteem here saying that it was crap cause all of the "popular" kids one awards cause I could care less but Ryan and I truly are the only two people in the world I can see that will remain friends forever and I will give perfect examples.

1. We have the exact same humor. I know this isn't a big claim to make as i'm sure all people who claim that theyll be best friends forever find the same things funny but Ryan and I do more then most people. We both think, death, crippled people, retards, STD's, Parapalegics, Terrorist attacks, Gays, Penis's and any other disgusting thing you can think of is funny.

2. We are best friends because I honestly think that no one else can handle how we are. We are the extreme case of asshole. I do not think I will ever meet another kid besides Ryan that will laugh when I make a 9/11 joke or a joke about crippled people.

3. No matter how old we are getting we never mature the slightest bit. Every single one of my friends with the exception of a few have all seemed to decide that cause were twenty means that we have to grow up and not think the sight of a penis is funny. It sickens me. Ryan and I still think dicks are funny and always will. He's the only kid that gets naked with me in front of people on a regular basis and thinks its funny. Everyone else seems to say grow up. Which brings another point of how our huge group has seperated into two groups and is about to seperate into matures and immatures and I honestly feel that give it time and Ryan and I will be in a group all our own as everyone will finally transfer to the mature department. It makes me sick.

4. Number 4 and probably the biggest one. How many other best friends went skiing together? and no I don't mean like skiing in the mountains. Ryan and I have a track record for hooking up and doing shit with the same girl mostly at the same time. Now how many best friends can say that while they were getting a hand job their best friend was standing right next to him getting one too from the same girl? and they high five while doing it? That's right god dammit we high fived and I'm not gonna name the girl like everyone expects me to here cause that would just be plain mean. No I won't even give a hint or what it rhymes with alright amy. dammit ha. We are the closest of friends that do literaly everything together.

I look back into my yearbook with just a hint of jealous but by no means enough to make me sad. I only hope at our ten year or twenty year high school reuinion, Shari and Deanna are just getting to talking again after not seeing each other for so long and Ryan and I come in, after car pooling together and having a threesome, and know that for the two of us not one damn thing has changed for the two of us since high school. We even shared our herpes together for gods sake how can we have not been Most Likely To Remain Best Friends God Dammit