No Quarter

Shit balls do I fucking hate the academy awards. I feel like the academy awards and the golden globes are now the gateway for the douchebags of hollywood to all come together and revel in their douchebagery. We'll I say NAY, I shan't stand for this intolerable cruelty any further. They announced the nominations for the academy awards today and they are discerning to say the least. For the second year in a row, the academy nominates 10 films for best picture. seriously?!? 10 fucking films for best picture.

This is an awards show, it's supposed to be celebrating the best movies of the year. How the fuck are we supposed to know the best movies of the year when they nominate every fucking movie for best picture. And they aren't even good movies either. They get worse and worse every year. I can deal with inception getting a nod even though that movie is not as good as everyone says. Just cause a movie was one huge mindfuck doesn't make it Oscar worthy. No, my grievance lies solely with the movie THE KINGS SPEECH.

Let me run you down the synopsis for this little gem that has 12 nominations. And I quote, "King George VI works with speech therapist Lionel Logue to help him with his stammer."

Yeah, that movie was nominated for 12 academy awards. Are you fucking kidding me? The whole movie is about a guy who has a fucking stutter? How the fuck does this movie receive 12 academy award nominations. Who is running that department? That has got to be the most boring movie I have ever seen. Who the fuck read that synopsis and just went, shit honey get in the car we gotta see this thing. The fact that it is up for best picture baffles me.

With that logic, the movie I'm going to write now should have no problem sealing at least 7 nominations. The synopsis and I quote, "Young Charlie Ewing helps his best friend Tyler Courage overcome an anal leakage problem." BOOM I'll take my academy award now thank you very much. I even have a better name picked out. We'll call it Leaky Faucet. I can already see Robert Deniro and the rest of the academy jizzing in their pants over this hot new script. Seriously though, if the kings speech can be nominated then there's no way they'd snub Leaky Faucet.

If this movie wins, it'll be the worst academy awards since Slumdog Millionaire. My other problem with ten best picture nods is the fact that they're are movies in there nominated that stand no chance of winning. Why the fuck is Toy Story 3 nominated for best picture? Who the fuck really expects to see toy story 3 walk away with the gold. That'll be worse then Cena winning the Royal Rumble this year. Thats two years in a row now that Pixar has been nominated for best picture cmon why the fuck are they in best picture when they're already nominated in best animated feature which we all fucking know they're going to win. It's fucking redundant. They could have easily left that one out in favor of a much better movie. Like cmon where was Piranha 3-D's nomination academy huh? Fucking amateurs. Like black swan gets nominated and that movie was one whole big lez fest with mila kunis going down on portman but piranha gets snubbed. They had just as much fake sex as black swan. The academy just jizzes for all things gay. (EXAMPLE BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN) Like forgods sake let the straight people win something again. Fucking tired of this gay movement. Same thing with this black movement. The academy jizzes of black movies. It's insane. The white straight man can't win shit anymore.

Also, if christian bale wins we riot. I hate christian bale now, he's such an over actor. Like we get it man this is your passion. But he takes method acting to a whole new level. He's just a giant douche. Your batman voice isn't cool. You losing enormous amounts of weight and then putting it back on is not cool. It's not even healthy. You are putting your life at risk for a 120 minute film that I don't even care to see. You ruined terminator and if it wasn't for heath ledger the dark knight would have blown. Just like the new batman is gonna blow.

I hope to god in my future years of writing feature films that I never write a movie boring enough to get an academy award nomination. I'll take a golden globe but fuck the academy awards. You screw people over. You screwed Jeremy Renner over for best actor to give it to the way past his prime Jeff Bridges. Just because it might be his last time being nominated doesn't mean he should win it. Give it to the right people academy. I'll be coming sooner or later for my Best Original Screenplay award.

Can't You Hear Me Knocking?

Oh shit, he's back. After god knows how long I thought it was finally time to re-establish my dominance on top of the world. Some funny things have happened to me since my last blogs and of course as always some devastatingly awkward things have happened as well. I have been called out by many girls on my top ten hottest list and rightfully so. I was a pig and deserved to be treated like one. Oops ha. Who gives a fuck. I stand by what I said as each one was a complement onto the other. I do apologize for the disgusting things I said though. It was no way to speak about ladies. I'm supposed to be a gentleman. I will be a gentleman once more but let's get on with it shall we?

Of course as always it's fucking snowing outside. There's been snow on the ground since december 26th and I want to fucking kill myself. It was 4 degrees out yesterday going to school. Seriously, 4 degrees? That's unbelievable. My dick had hibernated back up into my stomach. I felt like a poor asian man. I mean I can handle the cold weather as much as the next guy but walking across campus in 4 degree weather is something nobody should have to go through. They should have trollies like at disney land that take you from your car to your class. Now that be genius. COPYRIGHT that shit nigguh. chyea.

The best part though about the 4 degree weather yesterday was seeing the ever popular nassau community douchebag that thinks he looks tough and awesome in front of everyone walking around campus in 4 degree weather in just a t-shirt and shorts. Listen bro, this isn't jersey and it's not fucking summer. Wearing a t-shirt and shorts in that weather isn't cool, you know what's cool? A heavy jacket and a scarf. Now that's cool. Fucking loser, I hope he gets pneumonia and dies. The douchebags never seem to get what they deserve and get murdered. Its really unfair if you look at it. I saw in the paper the other day a gorgeous 19 year old girl from locust valley high school that died in a car crash. That's fucking terrible. Why did she have to be taken? what did she do to anyone? Why couldn't it have been the douchebag in a t-shirt? This world man. A psychotic kid can go nuts and shoot the shit out of a representative in arizona but no one can come on campus and murder the jersey shore wannabe. It repulses me. Why can't they go to hines field and brutally murder rapestburger, ward and fucking mendenhall? Sure they'll kill the politician that I don't care about but they can never do me a favor and kill the steelers so that the ravens can make to the fucking superbowl for once.

The snow is coming down harder and harder, same as my dick. Haha no but seriously, I've had it with this snow shit. Wouldn't it be great if it wasn't really snow falling but tiny bits of cocaine? that be crazy. I'd be on my roof in a heartbeat giving a swanton jeff hardy style into the cocaine mounds. Instead of putting my tongue out for snowflakes I'd have my nose to the air sniffing up the cokeflake. Now that be something. No it wouldn't, that's terrible. I'd never do cocaine and neither should you children, that's bad juju. There's a time and place for that shit and it's called vacation trips to south of the border. That's where the pure shit is, not this chemically fucked up cocaine here in america the government concocts to get your shit fucked up. That's some bad juju.

Shit, almost time for class. How much does it suck making friends at nassau for the people who go there? everyone is so fucking rude and angry all the time. No one wants to make friends. I said hello to a girl in class the other day to be friendly and she told me she had enough friends and to not talk to her. What the fuck? Am I that ugly or was that the biggest bitch on the face of the planet. Insane.

Well I think I did enough rambling for right now. I will be back with stories but this won't be the huge gigantic douche I used to be when writing this blog. It's time for a little discretion. No more mentioning of peoples names. That's wrong and I'm tired of hearing people yelling at me for it. I want people to enjoy this blog and laugh and think man that TJ sounds like a chill, funny kid, gorgeous kid that I would love to buy a drink and let him tell me all about the beautiful future he has in store for himself. Play your cards lucky girls and you can follow me all the way to the top of the mountain. And then we can look down, laugh and throw rocks at everyone below us.

This is Tj signing out for now. You stay Skanky Long Island. I know you always have

Evil Walks

I find myself at a crossroads tonight. There are just so many stories and so much learning I have for you all that I just don't know what alleyway to go down tonight. No doubt whatever alleyway I lead you down your sure to get raped but I just don't know which raping I want to give you all tonight. It can't be anything too good...ahhh I know. Exactly, why wouldn't I have told this story so long ago. Who wants to hear the story of how TJ Trimboli became the womanizer that he is today? Do we all want to know why I use, lie, and cheat with girls. Why I am unfaithful? Why I lie to all girls and not tell them anything. I don't follow this tradition much today for I actually found a girl that I love being with (I know we never thought we'd hear me say this) but how in the past I never told the truth and was just an overall asshole to all women? Well I'll tell you good children...

...It all began with a dream. As all stories do. I wanted to be somebody. I had just lost my beatles mushroom cut and got my braces off. I was a new man and finally looking to get a girlfriend. This was eighth grade. I still had emotions and believed that I wanted a girlfriend and all the joy that would come with it. ahhahahaha. Jokes. I dated a couple of good lookers my last year in middle school. No doubt it was the best year I had with girls in my life even now. I mean I know I was a pussy then and barely even kissed any of these girls but how can you compare the ugly girls that I've fucked in high school to the hot girls that I walked to class and dated in middle school. I'll give examples even though it's probably going to get me in trouble. In eighth grade I dated or almost dated Rachel Ford, Katie Tomauli (I dont know how to spell her last name), Jenna Schulman, and Ally Rosenthall. Sure they all only lasted a couple of days, just enough for them to all come to their senses and see who it was that they were kind of into to but now lets compare them with who I've fucked that was in my high school. Lisa Fitzgerald, Monica Morace, Brit Handler. There really isn't much comparison. I have lived a pretty high level of No Standards in my life and continue to live that to this day. Pussy is Pussy is my motto. There's no such thing as standards, Just stories and I've had a doozie of stories built up throughout my life. I'm gleeming away from where I want to go though. This isn't about these girls it's about one certain one. The one during the middle of summer in eighth grade that changed me for the better. After this girl I no longer chased the American Dream of getting a hot girlfriend and being the best boyfriend possible. I lost all self esteem, I lost my morals, I lost my emotions, and most importantly I lost my standards. This girl was old No Name.

Now I'm not calling her old no name because I don't want to reveal her name. I'm calling her old no name because I have no idea what the fuck her name is. I can't even remember what she even looked like but after doing what she did I can't imagine that she was much of a looker but then again I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for this girl so I have to give her props. I wish I could find her again now because I would shake her hand, fuck I would even tongue kiss her no matter how ugly she was just to thank her for being responsible for this creation. she is my master. I am her Frankenstein reeking havoc on the town's women.

It was the summer of eighth grade, June. School had just finished and we would be onto High School in the fall. Important times no doubt. Dumb and Dumberer had just come out in theaters and god dammit was I gonna be there. I don't know where Ryan or Brendan or anyone was that night because I wound up going with John Segura. Not that I cared. I like John, he's a funny kid and I thought this was a good chance to maybe induct a new friend into our group. I wouldn't try that now because I've grown to really dislike people in my old age. You really gotta be the most perverted kid to make it with my friends or for me to even give you the time of day. I don't John is like that but we were good friends back then.

My mom picked John up and we were off to the movies. The 7:10 showing on Friday Night. Oh yeah, I was the fucking coolest. We were a little early and had some time to kill and we chilled in the lobby. Some parts of this story here you're going to get from me that I wrote out a year ago in my book My One Way Ticket To Hell. There are some things I write in there that are just too funny to not write in here for you to see so i'll be referencing the book for the remainder of the story at times. So we were perched outside the theater on one of those black benches just hanging out. John had got some food and we were just waiting for it to be 7 and we were going to head into the theater. That's when we saw them. Two girls on another bench right by us talking and giggling and looking at us. I wish to Satan that I could remember what these girls look like. God damn my memory. They came over to us and started talking to us. I barely remember anything of what went on before the movie only that the outcome was that they were gonna come and sit with us during the movie.

I remember feeling nervous as I was only fourteen I think. I also was still very childish and babylike. I was so nervous being around this girl like I had something to prove or lack there of. I was a pussy still. I didn't want to prove anything but then again that's why I love this girl. She made me what I am today. Unafraid. Unafraid to write what I feel, say what I mean, not be afraid of any backlash from people. I would devote my life to this shadow in my mind.

The movie started and sure as Hell is hot she turned and started to make out with me. She sucked her tongue so far into the back of my mouth I thought she was gonna hit that thing that hangs in the back that makes you throw up if you touch it. You're uvula or something like that. Here's where I really look back at myself and pity the pussy that I once was. She moved her hand slowly down my pubescent chest and down onto my cock. I had just started jerking off maybe a year or so ago thank god or this would have been awkward. She pulled my dick out in the middle of the theater. Now I don't know if you have all been in a movie theater or not lol, It's not pitch fucking black other people can see you no matter where you sit. I was sitting in the aisle seat too. Anyone could just look over and get a nice shining look at my 14 year old penis. She went to town too. I look back and find it a little disturbing that a 14 year old was this good at giving a hand job already. Maybe she has been doing this for a while. Maybe she was really a man with a penis of her own that she played with just like me?

I was a real man now at this part. Good old little TJ pulled her hand away and said and I quote, "I don't think we should do this I don't even know you. We just met."

Yeah, that's right. I said that. Let's take a moment to sit and ponder on how big my pussy actually was back then.

Thankfully, Her dick was bigger then mine. She said, "Don't be such a pussy." and she continued to make out with me and jerk me off and I let her. I let her rape me.

I thank Satan that I did. She finished and I came all over her hand and the movie seat. She then proceeded to lick her fingers clean like she got birthday cake frosting all over her fingers. It was the hottest thing I've ever seen and I've seen Two Girls One Cup. She got napkins for me cause I wasn't licking it off my hand god dammit and we watched the end of the movie.

As the movie progressed I felt a change in me. I slowly felt the old TJ Trimboli sailing out the window as the new evil TJ Trimboli sank in. I suddenly craved pussy and more hand jobs and such. I turned back to her and we went at it again. I got another hand job. The movie ended and we made our way out of the theater. I felt the evil surging inside me. I was a new man. I no longer cared about anything I felt. I felt indifferent to it all. Not as much as I do today. What I felt back then was nothing to the way I feel now, to the freedom that I live today is nothing compared to what I felt then. Back then, it was just the liberation of a new thing that I was introduced to. I mean how evil could I have felt back then, I still believe Jesus Christ was a real person and that my grandparents were alive in heaven. But I felt the seed was planted and something maniacal was going to grow. Oh boy did it start that night.

We left the theater and my mom was waiting for me and John. The girl stopped me before I could go and asked for my name and number. I really felt good that night. I got two handjobs and didn't even know the girls name. She gave me a hand job and she didn't even know my name.

"Kevin" I said. There it was. I said it. And it started. I gave her a fake number and a fake name and I started my seven year journey to the evil man I am today. I thank this girl because without her who knows where I would be today. I might actually give a damn about people ahhhhh. I might actually even care about people ahhhhhh. I shudder to think. This girl is my lois lane. This girl is the damien to my lucifer. I love this girl. I cherish this girl.

haha this story still wouldn't be classic without the absolute dumbest reaction that I can give. I was as dumb a kid then as I am today. Probably more then, heres my example. I asked my mom a week later to take me to the doctor because I thought that girl giving me a hand job had given me H.I.V. Yeah, Dumb and Dumberer alright and I'm the dumbest fucking person on the planet.

Nostalgic

Oh boy how funny it is to be writing this nostalgic story as I look back on the nostalgic feeling I get after reading my old blogs and really how funny I am and how badly I piss people off. I love it. Nostalgic is the word of the night ladies and gentleman it's been on my mind all day. While at work, while at class, and while looking at my old high school year book right now and everything that seemed to went on that fabulous year. There was so much to look through. I forgot almost everything everyone wrote to me in my year book and look back at it now and don't recognize the person their all talking about in there. It certainly isn't the TJ Trimboli we all know now.

The funniest thing to me is the obvious people that stick out in your yearbook that wrote something to you in it that you know shouldn't have ever even written in it. Now I'm not saying they weren't nice to you and you weren't friends with them in class but it's a completely different thing when you ask them that sunny june day to sign your yearbook knowing fully well that you only talked to them in school and are expected they'll have something actually meaning full to write in your yearbook to look back on twenty years from now hahaha not. I'm not different. Let's see some of the way out of my league girls that wrote in my yearbook.

Ah no doubtably after opening up the cover, boom, there it is. Kiara and Tiana. Boy those are some extremely sexy ladies to be writing in your yearbook TJ. Way to sexy to be associating with your ugly ass. The book is full of them but i'm rambling and this isn't where my story is meant to lead. My story is supposed to lead to the senior awards. That's where my story lies tonight.

My story tonight is how popularity really ruins what should of been the true winners of a certain senior award and no i'm not talking about the bullshit of how I was nominated for most hollywood bound cause of my friends. We already knew that someone who took it up the ass was gonna win the award, right Mark? No i'm talking about the award for Most Likely To Remain Best Friends. Now anyone could have seen it coming that the only ones for that category that were going to get picked was the vastly popular crew that all hung out with each other and I'm not blaming Deanna and Shari for winning. I'm sure they are the bestest of friends and will remain like that forever but that's where these awards find their fault. It only takes account of what goes on in school. If it were to really take a look at the friends in the school and who stands by each other we could have seen the clear victors back in seventh grade. That's right and no it's not Damien and Steve Calandra they should have won cutest couple. No who should have won Most Likely To Remain Best Friends was Ryan Blank and TJ Trimboli.

I'm not trying to boost my own self esteem here saying that it was crap cause all of the "popular" kids one awards cause I could care less but Ryan and I truly are the only two people in the world I can see that will remain friends forever and I will give perfect examples.

1. We have the exact same humor. I know this isn't a big claim to make as i'm sure all people who claim that theyll be best friends forever find the same things funny but Ryan and I do more then most people. We both think, death, crippled people, retards, STD's, Parapalegics, Terrorist attacks, Gays, Penis's and any other disgusting thing you can think of is funny.

2. We are best friends because I honestly think that no one else can handle how we are. We are the extreme case of asshole. I do not think I will ever meet another kid besides Ryan that will laugh when I make a 9/11 joke or a joke about crippled people.

3. No matter how old we are getting we never mature the slightest bit. Every single one of my friends with the exception of a few have all seemed to decide that cause were twenty means that we have to grow up and not think the sight of a penis is funny. It sickens me. Ryan and I still think dicks are funny and always will. He's the only kid that gets naked with me in front of people on a regular basis and thinks its funny. Everyone else seems to say grow up. Which brings another point of how our huge group has seperated into two groups and is about to seperate into matures and immatures and I honestly feel that give it time and Ryan and I will be in a group all our own as everyone will finally transfer to the mature department. It makes me sick.

4. Number 4 and probably the biggest one. How many other best friends went skiing together? and no I don't mean like skiing in the mountains. Ryan and I have a track record for hooking up and doing shit with the same girl mostly at the same time. Now how many best friends can say that while they were getting a hand job their best friend was standing right next to him getting one too from the same girl? and they high five while doing it? That's right god dammit we high fived and I'm not gonna name the girl like everyone expects me to here cause that would just be plain mean. No I won't even give a hint or what it rhymes with alright amy. dammit ha. We are the closest of friends that do literaly everything together.

I look back into my yearbook with just a hint of jealous but by no means enough to make me sad. I only hope at our ten year or twenty year high school reuinion, Shari and Deanna are just getting to talking again after not seeing each other for so long and Ryan and I come in, after car pooling together and having a threesome, and know that for the two of us not one damn thing has changed for the two of us since high school. We even shared our herpes together for gods sake how can we have not been Most Likely To Remain Best Friends God Dammit

My Highway To Hell

so it's sunday. For once actually dreading going to work which is weird since I get paid good money for doing jack shit so I don't know why I don't want to go so badly. Tonight's post I decided to really go deep and share some tidbit of knowledge with you all that I have never shared with anyone before in my life. 

The reasoning I've never told anybody this was because it destroyed me. I don't care so much now since I actually figured out the faith in which I believe in but as a kid when this story happened and I still believe in god it was a tremendous blow for me and I was so afraid for so long that what I did was going to send me to hell. Not like that story matters now since there are hundreds of things that I'm going to be persecuted for. 

Anyway this story happened somewhere between seventh and eighth grade right after the september eleventh attacks. The single handedly worst thing that happened to this country. I'm indifferent to it now. back then I thought it meant the end of us all. Now it's nothing but a memory of a dark day. Bodies lost that are pointless to mourn now. It's in the past. Fuck the past. 

I had to be in a religion class because my dad wanted me to have a communion and confirmation and all that bullshit. It means nothing to me now just wasted time that could have been spent on better things then learning about a fictional fucking character. So one night in religion we learned that we could collect money, toys, etc. to bring into our religion class that they would send to the kids and families that have lost a life in the twin towers. This was back in my days of thinking I was an honorable person that tried to do good and was a good person. I realize now that it's a mistake. I'm not a good person. I'm not even an okay person. 

So I made a sign that said to help out the world trade center fund. I sat out in my driveway all day with a jug and made around 100 dollars from people putting in dollars to five dollars, etc. I couldn't believe how good I did. I put the money aside waiting for my next religion class next week. Things didn't go accordingly to plan. Next week the day before religion my mom took us to the book story cause she had to run errands. Inside was the third volume collection of spiderman comics. About 100 comics in one book which was about 60 bucks. I dug into my wallet. The money for the world trade center kids was there. 

I spent the 60 bucks that was supposed to go to the world trade center kids who lost a life to buy spiderman comics. I spent the rest on movies and cd's. Religion came the next day and I had nothing to give to the kids who lost practically everything by loosing their parents. But what do I care right? I'm the evil soul remember.

So there it is. The single thing that made me rethink about my faith, my religion, and my belief in God. It really signified it two years later when on the day before september 11th my first year of college I told the professor I couldn't come in because I spend the day with my mom mourning the death of my father in the twin towers who if you know me at all is a complete lie. both my parents are alive. I just didn't want to go to school. 

I have no shame. I have no filter. I have no hope.

Bron-Yr-Aur Stomp

It's been a long day. Having a terminator marathon with rado last night wasn't a good idea. Watching commando after the marathon at 3 in the morning didn't anything good to the mix either. By the time we went to bed at 530 I was dead but the sleep was great if only my family didn't call every two hours to check in. We slept till 3 and got breakfast at Ihop it was superb. We then went to the gym and he's at his house showering now. He's staying with me all weekend since he can't be at his house really for too long since their putting in wood floors so we've been together for a while so far. It's now my only time alone and I'm so tired I can't even bring myself to jerk off. That is when you know you've hit rock bottom when you don't even have the energy to spank your dick. It's been like that a lot lately and it gets even worse that it's been so long since anyone since myself has touched my log.

I haven't had sex since february and it is driving me out of my fucking mind. I'm a sex-aholic. It's all I can think about besides alcohol. I need to have sex. It's been so long I've driven myself into my own diluted fantasies. I've watched so much porn in the past three months that I can't tell now in real life what's real and what's porno. The other day I ordered pizza and was offended when the lady didn't fuck me after giving me the pizza.

I tutor a girl at nassau for english and I am flabbergasted when she doesn't give me a blowie for helping her boost her grade up.

It's been a terrible three months of this. I need help. I'm a sex addict that can't find the absolution of even an ugly girl for me to put my dick in. It's quite a predicament. There's not much romance in beating your dick till it's beat red and out of cum. The worst is the fantasies are getting worse. It's not just about these random people anymore but just having a simple conversation with some of my very best friends turns into a sex fantasy for me.

Walking home drunk the other day I found myself fantasizing that Kim Arevelo would pull up to me. I told this fantasy kim that I would put out for a ride home. She drove me home and I put out alright. This simple fantasies become worse and worse as time goes on. I really fear i'm loosing my mind now from the lack of sex. I'm more and more detached from society as the days go on. If I don't fuck something soon I think my dick is going to fall off. 

I'm even going into fantasy's as I write this. I'm facebook stalking Brittany Goll and boom the fantasy kicks in. She messages me through facebook and reminds me of the time she liked me when i was in 12th grade cause I reminded her of pete wentz (ugh i hate that guy) and then she suggests we hang out again. We do and it's fabulous. It's all really getting out of hand.

I don't know how much longer palmala Handerson is going to work for me. Even blank jerking me off has lost its flavor. hahaha. yeah right. Well rado is on his way back over. time to stop jerking off to pictures of girls I want to fuck and go back to drinking this problem away.

Kisses. XOXOXO

Nice Weekend

So i know I promised everyone a blog everyday and updates on the ugliest girls in my school and all that other shit but unfortunately two big things held me up from completing these goals. 1. Best friend and known associate Mike Radovich returned from college for the summer which means mostly every minute not spent at work is usually spent going to the gym, watching tv and getting food with him and 2. it was the weekend. I have a life so it was tough to want to post on the weekend when I could be out having fun with my friends. I choose to have fun and get drunk with the squad.

I'll recount my weekend since I don't really know what else to talk about tonight because I decided to hold off on the most hysterical stories until I have a nice following of readers. So thursday me and rado decided to start doing two a days at the gym to get ready for beach season. We're lifting a clean 115 right now which is pretty good for us considering we haven't even been working out for a month yet. We hope to get up to the 200 mark over the summer which isn't a stretch. It's something we can definitely complete. besides our two a day workout thursday we also went to the met game. Pretty substandard not much of an exiting story to tell there other then mets won. 

Friday was the pretty sweet day. Rado and I decided to dub it the first official day of summer even though I still have four more days of finals left. The reason we dubbed it the first day of summer was that witty witty witcomb's had a nice fun filled evening at his house. It was nice, there was some BP, lots of drinking and fun filled antics between me, rado and pumpkin. (For those of you who don't know who pumpkin is, that's Ryan Blank. Pumpkin is a nick name he wanted for himself in twelfth grade and it's stuck ever since.) The funnest parts of the night came after we smoked a blunt with Abbs and Waters. Me, Phil, Rado and Pumpkin went to 7-11. Phil doesn't smoke so you can imagine the torment he went through by me and rado. As he kept looking for food, I would knock whatever he picked up out of his hand. As we made our way back towards our houses blank told me to sleep over. I agreed since I didn't want to walk home at three in the morning and told Rado to sleep over too. We told phil to go home lol. The funniest part of the night was yet to come. On our way home we passed the best part of the night. A man streaking. That's right on our way home a naked man ran passed us saying that he had lost a bet and had to run around outside naked. It really sucked for this guy. We're sure that he made this bet with his friends because if he had lost and had to streak naked that he wouldn't have to worry about anyone outside since it was three in the morning. Boy was he wrong. We got some nice glimpses of the nudist as he bolted past us many times as we started following his jog for shits and giggles. A nice white ass he was sporting. The night dwindled down as we got back to blanks and he decided to get naked and show off his balls to us. It got funnier everytime he did it. Especially when he would clench his ass in the air and fart. Nothing's funnier then those cheeks clenching and letting out a breath of air. We passed out shortly after to wake up earlier then intended at noon to thunderous headaches and the ill fated beer shits.

The rest of the weekend went over without anything interesting besides seeing the absolutely amazing Star Trek saturday night. It was so bad ass and Mothers Day today went over smoothly without me getting into a car accident like last year and totally ruining Mother's Day. Now the day is winding down and there's only one thing left to do...Jerk Off.