No Quarter

Shit balls do I fucking hate the academy awards. I feel like the academy awards and the golden globes are now the gateway for the douchebags of hollywood to all come together and revel in their douchebagery. We'll I say NAY, I shan't stand for this intolerable cruelty any further. They announced the nominations for the academy awards today and they are discerning to say the least. For the second year in a row, the academy nominates 10 films for best picture. seriously?!? 10 fucking films for best picture.

This is an awards show, it's supposed to be celebrating the best movies of the year. How the fuck are we supposed to know the best movies of the year when they nominate every fucking movie for best picture. And they aren't even good movies either. They get worse and worse every year. I can deal with inception getting a nod even though that movie is not as good as everyone says. Just cause a movie was one huge mindfuck doesn't make it Oscar worthy. No, my grievance lies solely with the movie THE KINGS SPEECH.

Let me run you down the synopsis for this little gem that has 12 nominations. And I quote, "King George VI works with speech therapist Lionel Logue to help him with his stammer."

Yeah, that movie was nominated for 12 academy awards. Are you fucking kidding me? The whole movie is about a guy who has a fucking stutter? How the fuck does this movie receive 12 academy award nominations. Who is running that department? That has got to be the most boring movie I have ever seen. Who the fuck read that synopsis and just went, shit honey get in the car we gotta see this thing. The fact that it is up for best picture baffles me.

With that logic, the movie I'm going to write now should have no problem sealing at least 7 nominations. The synopsis and I quote, "Young Charlie Ewing helps his best friend Tyler Courage overcome an anal leakage problem." BOOM I'll take my academy award now thank you very much. I even have a better name picked out. We'll call it Leaky Faucet. I can already see Robert Deniro and the rest of the academy jizzing in their pants over this hot new script. Seriously though, if the kings speech can be nominated then there's no way they'd snub Leaky Faucet.

If this movie wins, it'll be the worst academy awards since Slumdog Millionaire. My other problem with ten best picture nods is the fact that they're are movies in there nominated that stand no chance of winning. Why the fuck is Toy Story 3 nominated for best picture? Who the fuck really expects to see toy story 3 walk away with the gold. That'll be worse then Cena winning the Royal Rumble this year. Thats two years in a row now that Pixar has been nominated for best picture cmon why the fuck are they in best picture when they're already nominated in best animated feature which we all fucking know they're going to win. It's fucking redundant. They could have easily left that one out in favor of a much better movie. Like cmon where was Piranha 3-D's nomination academy huh? Fucking amateurs. Like black swan gets nominated and that movie was one whole big lez fest with mila kunis going down on portman but piranha gets snubbed. They had just as much fake sex as black swan. The academy just jizzes for all things gay. (EXAMPLE BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN) Like forgods sake let the straight people win something again. Fucking tired of this gay movement. Same thing with this black movement. The academy jizzes of black movies. It's insane. The white straight man can't win shit anymore.

Also, if christian bale wins we riot. I hate christian bale now, he's such an over actor. Like we get it man this is your passion. But he takes method acting to a whole new level. He's just a giant douche. Your batman voice isn't cool. You losing enormous amounts of weight and then putting it back on is not cool. It's not even healthy. You are putting your life at risk for a 120 minute film that I don't even care to see. You ruined terminator and if it wasn't for heath ledger the dark knight would have blown. Just like the new batman is gonna blow.

I hope to god in my future years of writing feature films that I never write a movie boring enough to get an academy award nomination. I'll take a golden globe but fuck the academy awards. You screw people over. You screwed Jeremy Renner over for best actor to give it to the way past his prime Jeff Bridges. Just because it might be his last time being nominated doesn't mean he should win it. Give it to the right people academy. I'll be coming sooner or later for my Best Original Screenplay award.

Can't You Hear Me Knocking?

Oh shit, he's back. After god knows how long I thought it was finally time to re-establish my dominance on top of the world. Some funny things have happened to me since my last blogs and of course as always some devastatingly awkward things have happened as well. I have been called out by many girls on my top ten hottest list and rightfully so. I was a pig and deserved to be treated like one. Oops ha. Who gives a fuck. I stand by what I said as each one was a complement onto the other. I do apologize for the disgusting things I said though. It was no way to speak about ladies. I'm supposed to be a gentleman. I will be a gentleman once more but let's get on with it shall we?

Of course as always it's fucking snowing outside. There's been snow on the ground since december 26th and I want to fucking kill myself. It was 4 degrees out yesterday going to school. Seriously, 4 degrees? That's unbelievable. My dick had hibernated back up into my stomach. I felt like a poor asian man. I mean I can handle the cold weather as much as the next guy but walking across campus in 4 degree weather is something nobody should have to go through. They should have trollies like at disney land that take you from your car to your class. Now that be genius. COPYRIGHT that shit nigguh. chyea.

The best part though about the 4 degree weather yesterday was seeing the ever popular nassau community douchebag that thinks he looks tough and awesome in front of everyone walking around campus in 4 degree weather in just a t-shirt and shorts. Listen bro, this isn't jersey and it's not fucking summer. Wearing a t-shirt and shorts in that weather isn't cool, you know what's cool? A heavy jacket and a scarf. Now that's cool. Fucking loser, I hope he gets pneumonia and dies. The douchebags never seem to get what they deserve and get murdered. Its really unfair if you look at it. I saw in the paper the other day a gorgeous 19 year old girl from locust valley high school that died in a car crash. That's fucking terrible. Why did she have to be taken? what did she do to anyone? Why couldn't it have been the douchebag in a t-shirt? This world man. A psychotic kid can go nuts and shoot the shit out of a representative in arizona but no one can come on campus and murder the jersey shore wannabe. It repulses me. Why can't they go to hines field and brutally murder rapestburger, ward and fucking mendenhall? Sure they'll kill the politician that I don't care about but they can never do me a favor and kill the steelers so that the ravens can make to the fucking superbowl for once.

The snow is coming down harder and harder, same as my dick. Haha no but seriously, I've had it with this snow shit. Wouldn't it be great if it wasn't really snow falling but tiny bits of cocaine? that be crazy. I'd be on my roof in a heartbeat giving a swanton jeff hardy style into the cocaine mounds. Instead of putting my tongue out for snowflakes I'd have my nose to the air sniffing up the cokeflake. Now that be something. No it wouldn't, that's terrible. I'd never do cocaine and neither should you children, that's bad juju. There's a time and place for that shit and it's called vacation trips to south of the border. That's where the pure shit is, not this chemically fucked up cocaine here in america the government concocts to get your shit fucked up. That's some bad juju.

Shit, almost time for class. How much does it suck making friends at nassau for the people who go there? everyone is so fucking rude and angry all the time. No one wants to make friends. I said hello to a girl in class the other day to be friendly and she told me she had enough friends and to not talk to her. What the fuck? Am I that ugly or was that the biggest bitch on the face of the planet. Insane.

Well I think I did enough rambling for right now. I will be back with stories but this won't be the huge gigantic douche I used to be when writing this blog. It's time for a little discretion. No more mentioning of peoples names. That's wrong and I'm tired of hearing people yelling at me for it. I want people to enjoy this blog and laugh and think man that TJ sounds like a chill, funny kid, gorgeous kid that I would love to buy a drink and let him tell me all about the beautiful future he has in store for himself. Play your cards lucky girls and you can follow me all the way to the top of the mountain. And then we can look down, laugh and throw rocks at everyone below us.

This is Tj signing out for now. You stay Skanky Long Island. I know you always have