10 Years Today

So this is it? This is how I'm going to do it from now on. It always seems so hard to control all my thoughts and remember them to tell all the hysterical stories that I tell with my wingman these days. That's where this thing is going to come in. This will be my median to relate all my stories to. Mostly Daily and weekly I will post ridiculous hysterical sex stories, regular funny stories and disgustingly fucked up things on here. This is going to be my own little world. This is going to be the most fucked up blog you ever put your eyes upon. There's nothing sacred in my brain that I won't touch upon. This is my world. This is Tj Trimboli

Let's see where to start first today. There hasn't been much in the way of sex in about two weeks so theres no funny story to tell there but don't worry it will come. I don't know how it pulls off but the low standards aspect of my life really pulls into the massive amounts of sex I have. It's just a way of life for me and my best friend and wingman Ryan Blank. It's a creed to live by and that everyone should start living by. I don't know where we got it in our heads in our lives that we had to be with the hottest girls way out of our league. That only leads us to a long life of not getting laid and massive amounts of jerking off. I'm not saying don't go for a hottie but don't neglect the troll/horse/butterface in the corner begging for a nice thanksgiving day stuffing. Sure she's not grand to look at but who gives a fuck as long as you're getting your dick wet right? Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's just the fact that the uglier girls do more stuff. Maybe it's the fact that the uglier girls tend to lead to funnier stories. All I have to say is when you die would you rather have gone out having sex with only like five hot girls or have died having sex with like a hundred or more okay looking chicks.

The sad thing is most of my friends with the exception of ryan don't follow this code. Brendan won't stoop as low as us no matter what. I give him credit for that too because it takes a lot to be as feeble minded and evil hearted as Ryan and I. All i'm saying is just drink to the point where you don't know what she looks like, put her doggystyle and fuck the shit out of her. Thats where it should lie and I will share a beer with any man that adopts this religion. This is going to be my new religion. 

High Confidence, Low Standards is what it should be called. Thats how we should all live our lives. Any man that follows this creed will be my best friend. This is the religion here. Fuck Christianity. Fuck God. He's not even real. We're based on fabrications. I'm not going to follow a guy that's not even real. I don't live my life by fictional characters. That is why this creed is such a key to life right now for use young teenagers. We're fucking horny all the time. Jerking off gets boring after a while. Suck it up fuck an ugly girl and congratulations you have now had sex and you can get her to do it again and again and can even get a hundred more like that and congratulations you have more sex then the one guy who waits six years for that one hot girl to be too drunk to realize what she's doing. 

Now I won't say that jerking off is a complete waste of time. I had an incredible jerk off session last night. Like shuffling through dozens of different types of porno while stroking the coke. Unfortunately I couldn't get the volume up to the decibel level we'd all love it to be because let's face it most of the time guys jerk off there parents are home. Well at least I think so. I may just be a sick fuck that whacks off while his mom is in the next room. That's a real shame for me too. It's tough to really get the full effect when theres no volume. I just don't cum as quick when I don't hear Audrey Bitoni or Ava Devine screaming for a nice cock in their fucking cunt. The volume is my biggest companion in jerking off. I don't like to last as long as I do during sex for jerking off. I got shit to do. I want to grab the dick stroke, stroke, stroke done. I like to be done one two three. I last maybe three minutes jerking off. That's two minutes shorter then how long I can have sex for. hahaha just kidding but seriously...

The best ending was the cum shot. There's nothing better then feeling that buildup to the point of hot seminal fluid pouring out of your eye hole. Which leads me to the big question of where does everyone cum? The most obvious answer some of my friends give is in a tissue or they do it in the shower which really is depressing to me cause how do you get a good jerk off when you're in the shower. Which leads me to the big pull off for me. It's probably disgusting to all of you but I cum onto my underwear. Sometimes I just lay in bed jerking off and I jerk off into my underwear. Then just ball up the underwear and throw it in the hamper for my dad to clean. He's a whizz at cleaning cum stains. I mean he cant anymore since the vasectomy but me and zack fill the cup. Zack is the king of sick when it comes to jerking off I'm almost upset he beats me. My dad thought it was sick enough that I jerk off into my underwear but it is nothing compared to my brother jerking off into his socks. The funniest thing my dad ever told us at the dinner table that he'd take washing my cum undies over zack's tube socks anyday. That he pulls them out of the hamper and it's like cardboard. That may be the funniest thing I've ever heard. In conclusion I would love to hear thoughts on your jerking off patterns. I would even love to learn more about girls masturbating cause it's bull when a girl says she doesn't. She of course clicks the mouse, she just doesn't want to seem disgusting for it. I need input besides my disgusting life.

Man one post down and that flooded out quickly. I hope you enjoyed the first look into a sick mind and a sick life that I live. check everyday for updated stories about me, my family, my friends, our times together living in this teenage wasteland. I love every minute of it.