D.O.A.

Another quick little update here of an old funny story I remember that i'd love to share. It's a story about when I first started learning what I could truly do with my penis besides clense it. I was about thirteen years old and had just recently discovered that I had the talent to masturbate. It was mind blowing to me. The only problem is that i'm retarded. I honestly thought that I was the only one who had this power. I thought I was a mutant like an X-Men. I thought I was the only person on the planet with the power to shoot a white discharge from my penis. I felt I had to strongly develop these powers though as I could only make the white discharge come out after hitting it a bunch of times. That wouldn't be very handy in combat when my powers would be needed.

It actually leads to the hysterical day that I confessed to my dad that I had these powers a year later. You can probably guess how stupid I felt after realizing that all I was doing is jerking off and cumming something that every single male on the face of the planet could do. It was a sad and upsetting day but thats not where the full effect of this story comes into place. My dad told me that this was an everyday occurence and bless his heart the little angel that he was introduced me to playboy and the wonders that could be done to help masturbation. After these tidbits of knowledge where unfolded to me I beat my dick like it owed me money. Day after day coming home from school I would flog the log until that fateful day...

...that my mom walked in and caught me in the middle of it. I can understand now that i'm older the lie that she told me to keep me from jerking off even though it was cruel. I flashed my dick away so fast I was hoping that she wouldn't notice what I was doing but she wasn't having it. She saw and she was not happy. She took me in the other room and while washing my hands repeatedly, she told me that every time that I did that that a cat would die.

I couldn't believe it. All this time that I was pleasuring myself was at another things expense. I couldn't believe that an innocent species was being killed off all thanks to my selfishness. I would never do such a thing again, not if it cost the lives of millions of innocent cats. Days and weeks and months went by and I refused to touch myself. It was the worst experience in the world as it had become one of my favorite things to do. I loved it so much but I could not do it anymore and it killed me until finally the day came two months later where I said fuck it and decided to jerk off. It was only one cat and besides I was a dog person anyway. 

I went home that day after class, went straight to the computer and started watching some sweet sweet lesbian porn. I gave a good three minute jerk session before cumming onto a tissue. I cleaned myself up, got changed and called Ryan to see if he wanted to hang out. He did and I went to the front door to walk to his house. Upon leaving the house the first thing I saw heading towards the side walk was, you guessed it, a sweet little cat eating a bird in the middle of the street. I smiled at it but it was short lived. A mere second later and a car came zooming by and leveled the cat into a heeping pile of guts and hair. I stared at the site I just witnessed absolutely appalled. I went to ryans house and never jerked off ever again. Since that day six years ago I have not and never will masturbate...

...I give myself wicked hand jobs though ; )